This picture beautifully displays how I feel most of the time when I encounter struggles with people. Part of who I am and how I have lived most of my life is as a fixer. In my current job, I am a maintenance technician and if something is broken then I fix it. If I have any problems at my house, I fix it. If my car is broken, I fix it. I think you get the idea. ;) I get so frustrated when I have issues with friends, family, coworkers, and my wife where I can't instantly fix their problems, which is often. I don't like tension in my relationships. I don't like to see someone else hurting and not be able to fix what hurt them. I don't like to have arguments that don't have immediate resolutions.
When I was younger, I was never able to understand why people are so much harder to fix. In my mind, most people's problems seemed simple enough. The Lord has taught me a lot through the years on how to better depend on Him when I encounter struggles with others. The hardest lesson He has taught me, which I admittedly am still trying to learn, is I am not going to be able to fix the other person's problem. I am going to have to put the situation in the Lord's hands and trust that He will resolve the situation in His time.
God has shown me that the situation is not always going to be fixed the way I want it to. Sometimes I am going to have to watch and endure the pain of my friend or family and just support them with my love. Sometimes the Lord has to show me that I am the reason or a part of the problem. Occasionally the only resolution to the problem comes in my heart being able to forgive and accept the other whether they change or not. Many times it takes me surrendering all of my desires and worries to the Lord and resting in His sovereignty. I don't know about you but I don't like giving up complete control and I especially do not like to wait once I have. I want things fixed now. I have to admit though that I have learned so much about myself, my God, and the people involved when I fully trust in Jesus to remedy the situation in His glorious timing.
Romans 12:12 helps put into focus how we should act when facing trying times with another, "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." This verse speaks to me greatly and stings quite a bit because often times, I am anything but patient during tribulation. 1 Corinthians 13:4 takes patience to another level by referring to it as being a quality of love. This verse helps me to see that I am hurting people by my impatience instead of loving them by trying to remedy the issue quickly. Many times I feel as though I am being loving by resolving what is distressing me quickly. I guess that is truly the crux of the matter. Often times when I want something fixed it is because it is causing me pain not because I care about the needs of the other who is having trouble. Whenever we face trouble, we have to learn to be loving by approaching the situation appropriately. James 1:19-20 says, "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." When you combine Romans 12:12 and James 1:19-20, you begin to get a better idea of how God wants us to acts during situations like this in our lives.
I am so thankful that the Lord is continually working in my heart to make me more like Him. He is the ultimate fixer of the heart as he works to fix us from the inside out. I am thankful that I can place the problems I encounter in His hands and know that He is trustworthy to take care of them. Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." I am a witness to God's faithfulness and worthiness to trust in Him. There is no problem too great for God and no situation too difficult for Him to handle.
I must admit to you that many times the problem won't disappear instantly but have faith and He will bring you peace as you entrust the problem to Him. Pray constantly for Him to do a work in you and the person in whom you are struggling with or supporting in their struggle. He will bless you and keep you daily. He also will continually work on your heart and the heart of the other person. He will teach you how to love better no matter the situation and you will grow immeasurably in your walk through trusting Him with your struggle.
Blessings,
Greg
www.realchristianwalk.com
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