Tuesday, August 9, 2011

My 365 Day Struggle to Know Christ; Day 1

 Day 1, August 9, 2011

So the Lord laid on my heart this idea, a challenge really, of spending a year working to truly know and understand Jesus.  Now some of you might be saying that no one could truly know Jesus in a year’s time and I would have to agree with you but what if we are wrong?  What if we can truly know Jesus in a year’s time and more importantly what if we can truly know Jesus better than we do today in a year’s time?  Some of you might be scoffing at this point that of course you would know Jesus better a year from now and maybe you are right.  But for the rest of you out there who are completely honest, you know that you have gone a year’s time before without knowing Jesus better scripturally, spiritually, relationally, or otherwise.  I have been there.  I have made the New Year resolutions to grow leaps and bounds spiritually each year and yet come to the next year at the exact some place I started.  Sometimes if I am honest, I have come to the New Year with a worse heart condition than the year before.  Why is that?  Why would we profess Jesus as our Savior and only means to heaven and then not spend time to know Him better?

Well I am tired of it.  I plan to change all that.  I plan to struggle, to strive, to wage war against anything or anyone standing in my way, even myself, keeping me from knowing Jesus better.  My complacency has continued long enough.  I am tired of year after year of disappointment, backsliding, wondering, and weakness in my walk.  I want to know Jesus for real.  I want a relationship with Him.  I want to be able to speak His name with a confident assurance.  Will you join me?

Maybe you are saying right now that this challenge is too tough, too radical, or just plain dumb?  Maybe you don’t believe that you could ever truly have a relationship with Jesus because you have been too bad, done one too many things, hurt too many people, etc.  I’ve been there.  Maybe you think Christianity is a farce because of the many “Christians”, and “Church members” who have hurt and utterly convinced you against the reality of Jesus as Savior.  I’ve been there.  Maybe you’re just too tired.  You have tried everything to know Jesus better and yet you have made no progress.  Maybe you feel like it is time for Jesus to come and initiate a relationship with you.  I’ve been there.

Though I grew up a preacher’s kid and even say that I have been in the church since before I was born, I am nothing special and can completely resound Paul’s statement of being the worst of sinners.  I was not protected from temptations, sins, struggles, weakness, doubts, or anything else even though loving Christian parents raised me.  My life, my walk, my marriage, and my friendships were all almost destroyed as I was dragged to the bottom of the pit of sin through an addiction to pornography.  The devil bruised and battered me, challenged and confused me, lectured and twisted me until I believed that I deserved to be in the bottom of the pit and believed I could never be free from the addiction of pornography or any other sin.  I have been there.  I have felt as though there was no God at all.  I have struggled with love, grace, forgiveness, and truth.  Trust me when I say, “I have been there!”

Know that you are not alone in the struggle to know Jesus.  Many have been there and many are in the struggle today with you.  I hope you will join me.  I believe that amazing and wonderful things will happen in this challenge.  I believe that we can know God in new and different ways.  I believe there will be dark days and even days of failure.  I believe that I will face days when I will want to quit and give up but I believe that Jesus is worth it.  I believe he can and will sustain me and I trust that if I seek to know Him, to truly know Him, that I will find Him and know Him in ways I cannot even imagine.  I hope you will join me.  I hope you will share with me.  I hope to help you in your own struggle. 

Blessings,

Greg

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