Day 18, August 27, 2011
Yesterday, when I went to the doctor after feeling very sick that morning, I told him about all the medical struggles I have had through the years. This was mostly out of frustration and desperation at the many unsolved medical problems I live with daily. In telling the doctor of my many medical struggles, his interest was peaked at the possibility of me having ADHD. I told him, “Of course I do” because I was diagnosed with it as a kid. I have not taken meds for it since my junior year of high school though because of unwanted side effects and feeling I could manage it myself. I told him I would be willing to give the new ADD medicine a try. So he prescribed one of the ADD medicines and I filled it but waited to take it for the first time today.
Upon taking the new medicine, I could feel that something was different after about 30 minutes. I wasn’t exactly sure what was different but knew that it was doing something. I followed the prescribed dosing for the day and at a couple points during the day I noticed edginess and clarity.
ADD meds helped me when I was younger but the side effects also exacted a toll on me. This is why I stopped all meds in my middle teens. I felt that the side effects out weighed the benefits. I have spent the past eleven to twelve years of my life correcting and managing the psychological remnants of those side effects. Some of those remnants included anxiety issues, addictive behavior, and excessive worrying. I have made much progress and have managed the ADD pretty well in my adult life but I still face many struggles.
I think it is easy to see why I would want to stay off of the meds but at the same time it is nice to feel normal occasionally too. I definitely know that my brain does not work normally and that this sometimes hampers my ability to stay focused, to be detail oriented, to be patient, and to let things go. Each of these areas affect my, employment, relationships, social interactions, and ability to achieve my goals. I have learned through the years that it is possible to overcome most of the area I am deficient in but I am only able to do this through a concerted effort and through tricks I have learned. Some of these tricks are to do list, cell phone reminders, pocket notebooks, and routines. All of these help to manage my life and my symptoms but they require my full devotion to consistency or I will quickly revert back to the ADD symptoms.
After trying to manage all these symptoms for so long, I am ready for some help again. I feel as though the years I was off the drugs were productive and that I may now be able to benefit from the drugs without ill effects. I felt pretty good while on the new drug today though I have yet to see how or if it is truly going to help me in the areas I struggle. The ADD drugs come with a pretty long list of side effects and warnings and I want to make sure I do not end up with the struggles I had when I was young so I am being very careful to pay attention to how my body reacts during this trial.
Many people struggle with the idea of long term medication. This is even still true of some Christians today. I believe many of us feel that if we have Jesus we should be able to conquer everything both physical and mental. I too have struggled with this question for a long time. One conclusion I have come to through Romans 11:36, which says, “For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen” is that the medications and other therapies that exist for such conditions as depression, ADD, Bipolar disorder, etc are from God and therefore good to be used within reason. I am a firm believer that no medication or therapy that exists for these conditions should be jumped into without prayerfully seeking the Lord’s guidance in the matter. Though these medications and therapies exist, it does not mean that all of them are good or necessary for you. This is why it is so important to seek the counsel of Jesus upon researching available help.
No matter what we face in this life it is completely necessary for us to always trust the Lord and seek His guidance in our lives. Proverbs 3:5-6 makes this clear saying, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Our Lord is always in control and willing to show us the right path and choices for our lives. I don’t know what struggle you may be facing in your life but I hope you will bring it to Jesus. He will show you the way.
Please pray for me that I will also know if I am to continue taking this medicine or if the Lord has different plans for how I am to deal with my ADD. Thank you.
Blessings,
Greg
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