A Battle Forseen

I've definitely had better days,  I'm not a pretty sight but it is what it is. ;)

There are times when you don't want to compete a task and then there are times that you can't.  Today was one of those times where I couldn't do anything today.  Literally.  I woke up in the middle of the night with difficulty breathing and finally got that under control after an hour or so.  Then I woke up with stomach flu/food poisoning like symptoms.  Let's just say that my day did not turn out at all like I had hoped it would.  As you read yesterday, I have an immense of amount of work that needs to be done both at home and work.

Well today, I was at the mercy of the sickness, which was waging a war with my body.  Though I believe my body will ultimately win, today was not that day.  It took me two hours before I had enough strength and stability to make it to the doctor.  Once I made it to the doctor, I had to wait three hours to be told I have a fever but not the flu or strep.  The gave me an antibiotic prescription and told me to go home, rest, and drink lots of liquids.  By the time I got home, I was hitting rock bottom physically.  I had not eaten or drank anything all day on top of the stomach flu like symptoms that ravaged my body in the morning.

After some much needed medicine and a small amount of food, I proceeded to spend the rest of my afternoon on the couch, praying for healing and a chance to work tomorrow.  Here I am still on the very same couch writing this blog now.  My body still aches, my stomach is only marginally cooperating, and I am trying to gauge whether I have the strength to attend one last Master Gardener class before our final test next week.

Sometimes when we do not allow ourselves to rest and de-stress, God allows our body to demand rest for us.  I in no way enjoy sickness but maybe this is exactly what I need at this time.  Is it weird to think that maybe my sickness was necessary today for some reason.  Maybe I am exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what I am, which is practically nothing except writing this blog.

I believe that God is sovereign in all areas of our life.  By making that statement, I have to include sickness also.  I in no way believe that this means you should never go to the doctor or take medicine.  I just believe that there is a purpose to my sickness.  John 9:1-7 brings this idea to light saying,

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. ² And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”³ Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. ⁴ We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work.⁵ As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” ⁶ Having said these things, he spit on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man's eyes with the mud ⁷ and said to him, “Go, wash in the pool of Siloam” (which means Sent). So he went and washed and came back seeing.  

This man's ailment existed that God might be displayed in him.  I don't know about you but I find this reality sobering.

We live in a world where sickness, handicaps, and malformations are see as sin, screw ups, and  genetic imperfections.  A few weeks ago Brandt Hansen from the staff of Air1 had the opportunity to go to Afghanistan and be apart of the ministry called Cure International.  He got to witness them healing a 15 year old girl named Nazar, who suffered from a cleft palate.  Through this ministry, this young woman will be able to go from an outcast to an accepted person in society.  Even more than that though, she, her family, and her village will be ministered to through the compassionate work of this Christian organization.

Next time you find yourself laid out on the couch suffering from a sickness or pass a person with some sort of disease, malformation, or condition, take the time to consider how God is using it or them to bring glory to Himself.  Maybe His glory will be shown through your love to them.  Maybe His glory will be shown through you seeking Him in your suffering.  Each day is a gift from God, whether through sickness or health.  How will you shine for Jesus today?

Blessings,

Greg

My wife and I feel an intense calling on our lives for missions and full-time ministry.  We have created a fundraiser to help us overcome one hurtle to us being able to go to the mission field.  I pray that you will take a moment and check out this link.  I thank you for your consideration and ask that you seek the Lord's guidance in considering contributing to this fundraiser.  Thank you.

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=3437&url=roadtofreedomforproclaimingchrist

A Piece of Me

At my job, we have chapel on Tuesdays for our clients and employees.  Today's chapel, was about our own stories that make up who we are.  The speaker did an activity where we wrote down one word descriptions of our story and linked them together.  It was so amazing to see how so many words written by others could apply to our own stories also.  By the end of the chapel, we had a multi-link chain of our life stories one word at a time.  The three words I used throughout the activity was grace, darkness, and redeemed.

My whole life has been covered by grace though I have to say there were times I wouldn't have been able to see it.  I am a preacher's kid.  I tell most people that I have been in the church since before I was born.  My family did a wonderful job of raising me with love, teaching me the Bible, who Jesus is, and how to live a life that honors Him.  I remember being at church every time the doors were open.  When I was a teenager, I would even run the sound for dad at some of the weddings and funerals performed at the church.

Though my parents did a wonderful job of raising me, they couldn't protect me from all of the temptations and sins of this world.  Many of the struggles I faced in my life were not due to a failure on their part but a lack of judgment and wisdom on my part.  There were just certain challenges I chose, pridefully, to face on my own.  I praise God that I never had any problems with alcohol or drugs but there were definitely areas I struggled with throughout my teenage years and beyond.  

I struggled greatly with being a "two face," which for me was living for Jesus when I was at church and home and then living for the world when I was not.  I was greatly immersed in secular music, tv, and practices most behind my parents back through the homes of friends around me.  I learned to cuss on the bus in kindergarden.  We went to a school system that had all ages on the same bus.  I struggled greatly with the language, stories, and concepts I learned on the bus and in school for essentially my whole time in school.  I look back and shutter at the things I said, thought, and did during those years in grade school.  It took me many years of submitting all these things to Jesus and changing what I allowed to filled my head and mouth.  The phrase, "garbage in equals garbage out" is so true.

During a move to a new town when I was around ten years old, I was introduced to pornography.  I essentially became addicted to this horrifying realm of the devil for my full teenage life and well into my twenties.  It did not help that my generation was the first to fully interact with the computer and a new thing called the internet.  I grew up in a time when parental controls were nonexistent on the computer and content was infinitely accessible.  This served to feed my curiosity and drew me deeper into darkness and sin than I ever wanted to go.  I suffered greatly from this time in my life and looking back I can see the pain I caused to myself, my family, my friends, and my wife.  

During those teenage and college years I continued my 'two face' living of portraying the perfect preachers son who had it all together while sinking deeper and deeper into sin behind locked doors.  The devil had a firm grip on my life and yet I thought that I was okay.  I could answer any Biblical question you gave me and I knew who Jesus is and what He did for me.  I believed I was saved and had "rededicated" my life many times to make sure.  My heart was so deceived and the devil had me believing  I could live for two worlds without consequences.  

Well about five years ago, God brought me to a place where I met a man who I refer to now as my brother.  The two of us were much alike in the struggles with sin we faced and our desire to be free from them to fully honor and minister for Jesus.  We instantly became best friends and accountability partners.  Through prayer, accountability, and a fervent resolve to vanquish the sin that was destroying our lives, we were able to begin the difficult and painful walk to freedom.  God's grace redeemed us.  He utilized our friendship to provide encouragement and tough talks when needed.  He taught us how to walk in Him through our times hiking, biking, boating, and talking deeply about His word and how He was working on our hearts individually.  Through this time, Jesus taught us both how to passionately love Him and live for fully live for Him.

There is so much more to my story and the many ways that God has moved through it but what I am most proud of is to be able to say that Jesus has brought me freedom from the bondage I once endured.  For the longest time, I believed that certain temptations and addictions could not be broken but must be endured for the full length of my life.  I now can see that Philippians 4:13 is true!  Psalm 103:12 is absolutely true!  God's promises are true! 

I honestly don't know where your heart is tonight.  Maybe you are the one who is tired of hearing about God and Jesus because you have been running from Him so long.  Maybe you are like I was and have been in the church your whole life and yet secretly you are up to your eyeballs in sin and finally ready to acknowledge that you are far from Jesus and want to ask Him in your heart for real.  Maybe you have been missing something your whole life and have just never knew how to fill that void.  Maybe you feel that you are just to gone for Jesus to love you.  

I am here to say that you can never run to far away from Jesus for Him to reach you.  You can never fall to far down for Him to be able to pick you up.  You can never sin to much to be redeemed.  Jesus' salvation is offered not because of what right you've earned but what He has freely given (Ephesians 2:8-9).  Jesus is waiting for you to open your heart to Him today (Revelation 3:20).  Jesus will give you the Holy Spirit, which will be there to guide you, teach you, and help you walk the road back to purity in Him (John 14:15-31).        

I felt I needed to offer part of my own story tonight.  There are many parts of it I am ashamed of and yet through these times of darkness I have found my Savior, a brother, and a strength I have never known.  Jesus truly can redeem all things for good for those who walk in Him (Romans 8:28).  I know He has for me and I look forward to how He will continue to allow me to minister and reach our to the world for Him.  I pray that if you do not know Jesus, you would accept Him today.  I pray that if you know Jesus but are mired deeply in sin, you would seek His forgiveness and begin a right and real relationship with Him today.  Please know that I am always willing to talk, pray, or help in anyway I can. 

Blessings,

Greg  

 

My wife and I feel an intense calling on our lives for missions and full-time ministry.  We have created a fundraiser to help us overcome one hurtle to us being able to go to the mission field.  I pray that you will take a moment and check out this link.  I thank you for your consideration and ask that you seek the Lord's guidance in considering contributing to this fundraiser.  Thank you.

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=3437&url=roadtofreedomforproclaimingchrist

Good and Perfect Gift

I have learned in the past four days that sickness is an excellent reminder of the blessings of good health.  I have by no means enjoyed the snotting, the coughing, the chest pain, the body aches, or the nights of little if any sleep.  I have especially not appreciated the missed work days and missing the class I am taking.  In these times I feel so useless and broken.  I wonder if I will wake up healed or if the sickness will become worse.  With my wife being pregnant, I do my best not to infect her though I want to hold her and feel comfort by having her close to me.  Needless to say, I do not like being sick.

The thing is though that in my sickness I am dependent upon healing and comfort from God.  Yes we have doctors, medicines, home remedies, and more to help our sickness heal but ultimately our health is in His hands.  This was never more true than last night when I could feel my heart beating out of my chest due to the cold medicine I took.  I had taken this medicine in the hopes that it would give me sleep not keep me awake most of the night wondering if I was going to die.

Now I do have to admit that at times I have hypochondriac tendencies and that in no way helps to comfort your mind as you lay in bed feeling your heart beat through your chest and in your arm.  I finally got up and called the pharmacist to see if what I was experiencing was normal or something that needed medical attention.  He assured me that my symptoms where normal from this drug and that it would stop as the medicine wore off.  Well three and a half hours later at around 2:30 in the morning I think I finally fell asleep only to be awoke at 7:30 for my first full day of work this week.

Last night I had no other option but to trust God with my life.  When we are healthy and life is good, work is going well, and the bills are getting paid, we have this false assurance that we are in control of our life.  It is amazing how a simple cold can remind us of the humbling reality that our lives are in God's hands and that we are fully dependent upon His grace to continue sustaining our lives.  Psalm 39:4-6 is sobering saying,
⁴ 


4 O Lord, make me know my end
    and what is the measure of my days;
    let me know how fleeting I am!
⁵ 5 Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths,
    and my lifetime is as nothing before you.
Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah
⁶ 6    Surely a man goes about as a shadow!
Surely for nothing they are in turmoil;
    man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather!


James 4:14 says, "Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." 


I do not speak of these things to be morbid but to remind us of the wonderful blessing of life and health.  Each day we wake up is a blessing from God.  Each day is an opportunity to reach a life for the kingdom.  Each day is an opportunity to praise the one who has given you life.  Though I am still healing from the cold that started a few days ago, I have been reminded to appreciate the blessings in my life.  In James, it speaks of every good and perfect gift coming from God.  This evening the thought crossed my mind that even sickness could be considered a good and perfect gift if it directs your heart back to a love and dependance on the sovereignty of God.  Food for thought. 


Blessings,


Greg