My whole life has been covered by grace though I have to say there were times I wouldn't have been able to see it. I am a preacher's kid. I tell most people that I have been in the church since before I was born. My family did a wonderful job of raising me with love, teaching me the Bible, who Jesus is, and how to live a life that honors Him. I remember being at church every time the doors were open. When I was a teenager, I would even run the sound for dad at some of the weddings and funerals performed at the church.
Though my parents did a wonderful job of raising me, they couldn't protect me from all of the temptations and sins of this world. Many of the struggles I faced in my life were not due to a failure on their part but a lack of judgment and wisdom on my part. There were just certain challenges I chose, pridefully, to face on my own. I praise God that I never had any problems with alcohol or drugs but there were definitely areas I struggled with throughout my teenage years and beyond.
I struggled greatly with being a "two face," which for me was living for Jesus when I was at church and home and then living for the world when I was not. I was greatly immersed in secular music, tv, and practices most behind my parents back through the homes of friends around me. I learned to cuss on the bus in kindergarden. We went to a school system that had all ages on the same bus. I struggled greatly with the language, stories, and concepts I learned on the bus and in school for essentially my whole time in school. I look back and shutter at the things I said, thought, and did during those years in grade school. It took me many years of submitting all these things to Jesus and changing what I allowed to filled my head and mouth. The phrase, "garbage in equals garbage out" is so true.
During a move to a new town when I was around ten years old, I was introduced to pornography. I essentially became addicted to this horrifying realm of the devil for my full teenage life and well into my twenties. It did not help that my generation was the first to fully interact with the computer and a new thing called the internet. I grew up in a time when parental controls were nonexistent on the computer and content was infinitely accessible. This served to feed my curiosity and drew me deeper into darkness and sin than I ever wanted to go. I suffered greatly from this time in my life and looking back I can see the pain I caused to myself, my family, my friends, and my wife.
During those teenage and college years I continued my 'two face' living of portraying the perfect preachers son who had it all together while sinking deeper and deeper into sin behind locked doors. The devil had a firm grip on my life and yet I thought that I was okay. I could answer any Biblical question you gave me and I knew who Jesus is and what He did for me. I believed I was saved and had "rededicated" my life many times to make sure. My heart was so deceived and the devil had me believing I could live for two worlds without consequences.
Well about five years ago, God brought me to a place where I met a man who I refer to now as my brother. The two of us were much alike in the struggles with sin we faced and our desire to be free from them to fully honor and minister for Jesus. We instantly became best friends and accountability partners. Through prayer, accountability, and a fervent resolve to vanquish the sin that was destroying our lives, we were able to begin the difficult and painful walk to freedom. God's grace redeemed us. He utilized our friendship to provide encouragement and tough talks when needed. He taught us how to walk in Him through our times hiking, biking, boating, and talking deeply about His word and how He was working on our hearts individually. Through this time, Jesus taught us both how to passionately love Him and live for fully live for Him.
There is so much more to my story and the many ways that God has moved through it but what I am most proud of is to be able to say that Jesus has brought me freedom from the bondage I once endured. For the longest time, I believed that certain temptations and addictions could not be broken but must be endured for the full length of my life. I now can see that Philippians 4:13 is true! Psalm 103:12 is absolutely true! God's promises are true!
I honestly don't know where your heart is tonight. Maybe you are the one who is tired of hearing about God and Jesus because you have been running from Him so long. Maybe you are like I was and have been in the church your whole life and yet secretly you are up to your eyeballs in sin and finally ready to acknowledge that you are far from Jesus and want to ask Him in your heart for real. Maybe you have been missing something your whole life and have just never knew how to fill that void. Maybe you feel that you are just to gone for Jesus to love you.
I am here to say that you can never run to far away from Jesus for Him to reach you. You can never fall to far down for Him to be able to pick you up. You can never sin to much to be redeemed. Jesus' salvation is offered not because of what right you've earned but what He has freely given (Ephesians 2:8-9). Jesus is waiting for you to open your heart to Him today (Revelation 3:20). Jesus will give you the Holy Spirit, which will be there to guide you, teach you, and help you walk the road back to purity in Him (John 14:15-31).
I felt I needed to offer part of my own story tonight. There are many parts of it I am ashamed of and yet through these times of darkness I have found my Savior, a brother, and a strength I have never known. Jesus truly can redeem all things for good for those who walk in Him (Romans 8:28). I know He has for me and I look forward to how He will continue to allow me to minister and reach our to the world for Him. I pray that if you do not know Jesus, you would accept Him today. I pray that if you know Jesus but are mired deeply in sin, you would seek His forgiveness and begin a right and real relationship with Him today. Please know that I am always willing to talk, pray, or help in anyway I can.
Blessings,
Greg
My wife and I feel an intense calling on our lives for missions and full-time ministry. We have created a fundraiser to help us overcome one hurtle to us being able to go to the mission field. I pray that you will take a moment and check out this link. I thank you for your consideration and ask that you seek the Lord's guidance in considering contributing to this fundraiser. Thank you.
http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=3437&url=roadtofreedomforproclaimingchrist
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