Restorer of my Soul

I have to admit that I have been avoiding this blog for a while.  I honestly can't tell you why other than I have felt like I have been in a rut for a while.  I am still doing ministry, attending church, and leading chapel every once in a while at work but I have really been running on autopilot lately.  I have felt disconnected and disjointed.

Today was my week to lead chapel at work and I had really been wrestling with doing it.  To be honest, I really didn't want to do it.  I had not picked up my guitar in months and I had no idea what to do.  This morning I was really dragging half because of bad sleep and half because I did not want to face my responsibility.

As I sat in the shower, I mulled over what to do at chapel.  I finally came up with the idea of doing one of the videos from the book Beautiful Outlaw.  I decided to do the video on Trueness.  I decided to take my guitar and a few worships songs with my computer on the way out just to leave the option of doing worship available.  Then, probably for the first time since working at Selah, I decided to take the morning to prepare the chapel service.  I reread the chapter I was doing the video on, I watched the video, prepared questions, and put together a worship set that I even practiced before the service.

All of these things served to align my heart back on my Lord.  After finishing my preparations, I spent sometime in prayer.  It took me time to bring my heart back to where it needed to be fully focused on Jesus.  Once I reached this point, I had to take time to still my heart.  I sat on the porch when I went back up to the house.  The Lord fully calmed my heart through a gentle loving cat.  When the time came to for chapel to start, I was exactly where I needed to be.

Today showed me two things.  First, when you allow your heart to distance from the Lord, the road back takes time.  I had to take time to be prepared for the chapel.  I did not wake up on fire and ready.  It takes a lot longer to restart a fire from a cooling ember than to maintain the fire.  Second, that our Lord is gracious and good.  As soon as I brought my heart back to where it needed to be, He blessed me.  Truly He blessed me even more than I ever imagined He would today.  I could truly see Him moving and felt Him working both through the worship and the lesson in a way I had not seen up to this point in chapel.

I walked into doing this chapel with hesitation and the desire to take a break for a while after it to walking out of chapel filling recharged, reminded, and convicted of who I am and how ministry is part of who I am in Christ.  The Lord reignited my heart today because I open my heart and surrendered again to Him today.  Jesus said in each of the synoptic gospels deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him.  I submit that this must be done daily because each day we choose whether to follow Jesus or ourselves.

If you have felt distant from Jesus lately, I hope you will take this moment right now to reconnect with Him.  Jesus is good and loving and has been waiting for you to receive Him again.  I hope you will choose Jesus today.  Let Him convict you of your sins, restore you back to right paths, and recharge you in your walk.

Blessings,

Greg iVey

The Deep Healing Waters of Jesus

I started my day like any other.  I woke up, got ready for work, and arrived on time.  I had plenty of things to do today and spent the morning trying to take care of the many tasks on my roster.  As the morning continued to slip away, I decided to go down to the kitchen to get some water.  I noticed worship music gentling calling from the living room.  I drank my water and continued to work on the tasks I had inside the house.  I passed the living room multiple times as I checked the furnace filters, the thermostats, and changed some light bulbs.

As I went past the living room, I noticed that more people than usual were attending the worship chapel and each person was doing something different as they enjoyed the music and connected with Christ.  Each time I passed the living room, I felt a draw to join in.  I frequently join in the chapel sessions but not the worship sessions.  So i continued my work trying to ignore the longing that was compelling me to join.

After about 20 minutes of attempting to ignore the desire of my heart, I decided to quietly slip into the living room, sit down, and write in my notebook as I enjoyed the worship album playing in the room.  As I sat down and began to write, a flood of emotion flowed from my heart.  My heart began to pour out onto the notebook in the form of a prayer.  I had not talked with God for a few days maybe even a few weeks. It was time and my heart knew exactly what I needed to say.

My heart had been drawing me to join the worship.  My heart had been longing to reconnect with my Lord.  The Holy Spirit knew my need though I myself had not perceived it or maybe worse had been running from it.  To help deepen and explain the significance of today, I want to explain my daily routine at work for the past few weeks.

I have spent quite a lot of time outside mowing, trimming, weeding, mulching, and so much more.  During this time, I put on my headphones, which are hooked up to my iPhone, and listen to podcast sermons from pastors I respect and admire and Christian music I enjoy.  I have probably listened to over 30 hours of sermons in the last week on Jesus and walking an authentic Christian life.  Now I can't say that I didn't not pray or speak to God in conviction during some of these sermons but I can say that I did not humble myself and give to God all I had been holding in my heart.  The silence of my blog recently has spoken to this condition in my heart.

When I sat down in that worship, I finally took the time to connect with where I was with Christ and was able, through the Holy Spirit, to identify my desperate need to reconcile with Jesus and lay my burdens, worries, and struggles down before Him.  As I sat there quietly in the back of the living room, I was able to truly pour out my broken and contrite heart before the Lord.

The Lord helped to facilitate my healing even further through my best friend, Jono, who spoke even deeper into the need of my heart through the daily texts we share.  I opened up and confessed also to my best friend and accountability partner the state of my heart and my need.  We both dove deeply into our desires to serve and live passionately for Christ.

Through this whole process, I found a peace I have not felt in a while.  I was able to breathe deeply and fully in the certainty and joy of Christ.  I could feel the Lord reconnect my heart into Himself.  I could feel my heart submit to His reign.  The rest of my day has been filled with the peace and joy of knowing that I have a God who knows my heart's need so much better than I do.  I can rest in the knowledge that my Lord will lead me to still waters whether I know I need them or not.

Where is your heart with Jesus tonight?  Have you been listening to all the Christian songs, reading the Christian books, intently enjoying the Christian sermons, and living a good looking Christian life and yet still finding your heart distant from Jesus?  Sometimes we can cover over exactly what we need by filling our lives with all these things and yet not humbling ourselves before the Lord.  Have you laid your heart, your sins, and your burdens at the feet of Jesus tonight?  Don't hesitate to do it tonight.  The cool waters of our Lord are abundant and sweet!  Don't resist the call of the Holy Spirit who is drawing you to make your path straight tonight.  Dive in my brother and sister.  Dive in.

As a closer, I would love to hear from you about how the Lord has drawn you to himself recently.  I would love to hear ways that you connect with Jesus daily.  I would love to here how the Lord used this blog to restore your heart today.  Feel free to comment on the blog or on my Facebook account.  I would just love to be able to share in the many way Jesus has spoken to, blessed, and uplifted each of my readers.

Blessings,

Greg

My wife and I feel an intense calling on our lives for missions and full-time ministry.  We have created a fundraiser to help us overcome one hurtle to us being able to go to the mission field.  I pray that you will take a moment and check out this link.  I thank you for your consideration and ask that you seek the Lord's guidance in considering contributing to this fundraiser.  Thank you.

http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=3437&url=roadtofreedomforproclaimingchrist